Chronicle at strive4impact.com

Originally written July or August of 1993
(Jonathan is 13)

Dear friend,
The more I travel with you, the more I understand your life. Your struggles are not all that different than mine. You struggled to make a better world, while I struggle to make a better me. In time, I would hope that I will be able to fight for your causes and lead others to follow.

What I don't get is how, especially in this day and age, I am supposed to be the leader of a people who have begun to lose track of where they're at or from.

(Jonathan is 13)

Dear God,
I'm writing this to you to say thanks. Thank you for being in my life. If it weren't for you, I don't know where I'd be. The little things, and the big things you do always help. Sometimes I don't even recognize it when you help me. I don't give you enough credit, and I take a lot of the things you do for me for granted. I love you. You're my eternal friend. Satan doesn't stand a chance. I promise. Blessed Are They The Pure Of Heart, Theirs Is The Kingdom Of God. I will do my best to do your will, and I will try to be pure of heart. Your power is awesome and I'm beginning to understand more and more what that means. One small favor, help me to be more relaxed with Kristina. I know she's one of the many I will help and she will help me too.

(Jonathan is 13)
October, 1993

Dear God,
Yet again, I have been thrown or tempted into this. I don't even really enjoy it that much anymore. Old habits die hard. Why does it have to have been me? I know that answer. How can I possibly have that much power? I'm really trying to believe it but it's hard.

(Jonathan is 13)
November, 1993

Dear Giver Of Direction,

Life down here is okay, but I've hit a few roadblocks. The first is the most obvious. I can't seem to set aside time for you. I have time for TV, homework, friends, acting, sports, whatever. Right now, you're like a friend that I take for granted. I don't have to spend time doing things with or for you, but when I need your help, you come running to my side. Night or day, I know I can count on you. I'm sorry that I haven't spent time with you. When I'm truly with you, I'm happier than I could ever be with anyone else. I'll do my best to ensure that there's more time with you from now on.

What does love feel like? Am I experiencing love with or for Kristina? If I am, should our relationship go further? Help me to know what to do.

November 1993

Giver of direction,
I always need your help, and I never help you in return. I've decided to make a list of ways that I can thank you

Early part of December, 1993
(Jonathan is 13)

Dear God,
I'm very confused. Jackie or Kristina, Kristina or Jackie, Jackie or Kristina, Kristina or Jackie. Did Jesus ever get approached by women, or did he ever approach a woman? I doubt it. Why does Jackie have so much of an effect on me? Is it the light? Maybe so. I don't know what I should do. I get the feeling I should call, and maybe I should try to get to know her better so that I might be a better judge of deciding between the two.

December 20, 1993
(Jonathan is 13)

Where am I headed?
This thing inside me wants to get out and help all everywhere.
Am I meant to save, or to be "normal"
or to be soft-spoken working for you
or to yell out against people against you?

December 22, 1993 (late night)
(Jonathan is 13)

Dear God,
tonight I am sad. Sad, because of the things I see and hear. I'm sad that I have to listen to allegations against people in high places. Sad because Santa is no longer safe to talk to kids in shopping malls. Sad because a company called Viacom puts up 9.6 billion and then QBC puts up 10 billion, both for a slot with Paramount, and yet there will be people sleeping in homeless shelters, on side streets, and in city parks on Christmas Eve.

December 24, 1993
(Jonathan is 13)

Happy birthday Jesus!

Less than 2000 years ago, around this time, Mary and Joseph were searching for a place to stay so that Jesus could be born. Jesus was born, and from then on time went forward. The greatest and most known figure throughout all time is the son of God born from Mary, a virgin. His name is Jesus. Not only a savior and public servant, but also, and mainly, a servant to God. He will last forever and hopefully his wishes, wants, and needs for this time can be granted through me. Amen.

January 1994
(Jonathan is 14)

Dear God,

What is going on? There's something inside of me and I feel like I just keep packing it down. What do I have to do to let it out?

In the past, columns have satisfied this thing for a while. I can tell that it will be wonderful once it's out. But how I started is the question.

I envision this little bubble of light inside of me that grows whenever I do something for you. Several times, it almost came out, but it was especially at these times, when outside sources tempted me. Once I agree and give in to that temptation, it's like a giant fist comes crunching down my throat and returns that light to its normal size. The time for it to come out is now? But I've got to make it grow enough? And be able to resist temptation when it happens.

So, God, your turn, again. Help me to make this light grow. It is going to take three to four months, and I know that. Help me to do things that you would want me to do.

Holy Spirit, help me to recognize what the temptation(s) are, and when they are coming.

Jesus, help me to work through the Temptations. Show me the way to the Bible when I start to get into these temptations, and give me messages through the Bible that will help me to not give in.

Mary, help me to do my best to understand other people and what they do. Sometimes it gets very confusing, and I feel you have the love and understanding to translate why people do the things that they do.

Help me through the next few months.
Show me how to let the slight emerge from me.
Help me to stay away from temptation, and to recognize it when it's trying to get at me.

January 1994
(Jonathan is 13)

Complain less, bless more.

I'm going to Manilla in 95. That's it. No questions, I'm going. (In relation to World Youth Day 1995 - I didn't end up going.)

January 16, 1994
(Jonathan is 14)

Who am I to deserve you? You do so much for me. I can only hope and pray that with what I'm about to do in the upcoming months, I will begin to repay you for all your gifts to me, but especially the gift of life. Help me to respect you and not disgrace or embarrass myself by sinning.

January 21, 1994
(Jonathan is 14)

Dear God,

Here I am at the NET retreat.

I feel you here, but somehow it's lacking reverence. Help these kids to know and understand you. That you're not just some person that their mom or dad makes them go to church every weekend for. Help them to recognize you as more than a person that can help them throughout their life and struggles. When they confide in you, they will truly know your power. Help me to show people like this who you are. I'm not sure how I will do it, but I know that with your help, I will be able to accomplish this, my task, for you.

POEM: True World
(Jonathan is 14)

True World
Dear God,
"What happened today?
Was this your plan?
Who killed them?
Was it by your hand?
Who caused this madness?
Why were they killed?
Who thought this idea?
Was it by your will?"

January 1994
(Jonathan is 14)

Dear God,
It's been a while since I've written a letter. I've also found other ways to pray now. Of course, you know that.

Why can't I stop? Why don't I listen to you when you tell me to resist temptation and go to the Bible instead? Why do I listen to the temptation?

God, please give me the grace of knowing that you're always with me. Please help me to live my life according to this plan.

You have shown me how to see, and taught me how to hear. Matt 13 Verse 17. Help me to serve you, as I am forever indebted to you. Thank you for giving me what I have. Help me to share it.

Jonathan Kraft

February 1994
(Jonathan is 14)

God,
Thank you for all you have given me. Friends, good family, people who care. Thank you for the abilities you have given me for this life. Musically, I have been given a great gift, which over time will develop into something much greater. Thank you for the physical abilities you have given me. Especially football. It's an amazing sport (as is any other), if you feel it. Thank you for the ability to see things about other people that they might not even know about themselves. The ability to know what other people are thinking about, but also the ability to help people before they get to their struggle. Most importantly, thank you for my writing skills.

They will impact many, and will hopefully bring them into a closer relationship with you.

March 5, 1994
(Jonathan is 14)

Giver Of Direction,

You can crumple empires with a snap of your fingers. You could make everyone lose in fights. You could do anything. Yet you do so much to lead me where I should go, instead of what temptation takes me. Why are you so subtle? Just a curiosity question.

March 10, 1994
(Jonathan is 14)

Dear God,

I don't know what'll happen to me. I'm not sure how this will turn out, I'm not sure I even understand it, but I know that with your help, would ever needs to happen will. The good of the people will come through.

March 22, 1994
(Jonathan is 13)

Dear God,

What a day. So many struggles causing so much disbelief. Satan does his best to turn the faithful away from you. He is fighting kids from the inside and out. He pushes up the shield for them and then tries to destroy the true person, the person you made, while it's on the inside. In many, the inner light never shines.

That, I know, is why I am here. To let the inner- person out so that people say what they believe instead of believing what they say.

I have taken the first step towards leading Nathan and Elise back to you. Now help me to make the second step and not be afraid of what might be said to me giving them the means to get back to you.

March 1994
(Jonathan is 14)

Dear God,

Thank you for the power to impact. There were quite a few examples of the impact I'm beginning to have on others. I thank you for choosing me to help people through the struggles that life may bring. Thank you for putting just in thing elsewhere, he was so that Amy didn't die.

Call tomorrow night run smooth. (Help our brochures, not to be turned into paper airplanes! - talking about the launch of the newspaper "Tomorrow's Leaders for Peace") Help everyone to take our cause and us seriously. Help us to have an impact.

November 1994
Jonathan is 15

Jesus,
Give me the strength to try to help others and not want in return. Let me know when to try to help (always). Let me know how to help. Please. Also, help me to find you in a deeper meaning.

September 21,1994
Jonathan is 14

Dear God,

I have just finished a very important return to my innocence by looking through my writings to, for, from, and about you.

September 1994

I used to sit up late at nights and write to someone who had given me more than I could ask for, ever. I didn't know much about details... little things and big things alike, I didn't know about, but it was okay, and it was fun for me to stay up late those nights writing. They helped me discover more of what I'd been given.

Then I began to slip away. I was a Sunday Catholic who really didn't have a statement for life. That time was hard. And the bad thing and strange thing about it was I could have made it so much easier just by finding out who I'd been writing to.

September 1994

Dear God,

Help Carma. She has done so much for many.

Thanksgiving 1994
Jonathan is 15

Jesus,

I am thankful to you and your father, and others in heaven and on Earth, especially my parents, for giving me this life. Thank-you!

December 24, 1994
Jonathan is 15

It's another Christmas Eve. Almost a Christmas.

Thank-you for sending Jesus to the earth so that we all might live eternally. Thank-you for all I have even though I often forget how fortunate I am.

Happy B-day Jesus!

Jonathan Kraft

April 11, 1995
Jonathan is 15

Dear God,

Please be with Kristina tonight. Feed the wisdom that is inside of her with power from the holy spirit. Help her to keep her spirits high even though she is in the middle of a mess. Please also be with the people around her.

April 13, 1995
Jonathan is 15

Cactuses are a lot like the majority of people. They adapt to the things around them the best that they can and do their best to be beautiful.

Dear God,
I want to ask you to be with Kristina. Help her in what she's doing and help her to get along OK at her school. Help the people around her to try and understand what's going on with her and what's happening to her life because of them. Be with Pat. Help him to keep his spirits high. It is the only way he can beat his cancer.

06/26/1995
Jonathan is 15

Dear God,

As I'm sitting here tonight, I realize that I do believe in you much as I always have, but I'm trying to figure out how you fit into my life. I know you're in all around me, but maybe I'm unsure of how much control I want you to have in my life and so I suppress you. Help me not to do this.