|
 <---
Jonathan Kraft?
or
Jonathan Kraft? ---> |
|
On the
left,
we have...
THE OTHER JONATHAN KRAFT. |
On the
right, we have
THE REAL JONATHAN KRAFT |
Some may disagree with me,
but it's true. And I have proof!
Since the SuperBowl, things have been crazy on my site!
Lots of people have been emailing me, saying:
-
"You're not
THE REAL JONATHAN KRAFT!"
-
"THE REAL
JONATHAN KRAFT is the famous guy!"
-
THE REAL
JONATHAN KRAFT is co-owner of the
franchise that won the SuperBowl.
Well,
there may be some things that I'm not sure of in life, but one thing is
for sure. I AM THE REAL
JONATHAN KRAFT!
Although there are some remarkable similarities between the two, I AM THE
REAL JONATHAN KRAFT!
BUT,
because there is sure to be some confusion, I have decided to
provide you with...
The top 10 list of
reasons, why I AM THE REAL JONATHAN KRAFT
(Note: I don't know THE OTHER
JONATHAN KRAFT personally, so I just used stuff from the bio at
the revolution soccer web site.)
| |
THE
OTHER JONATHAN KRAFT |
THE
REAL JONATHAN KRAFT |
#10.
|
Documented
proof of being son and primary successor to a multi-billion dollar
family. |
Undocumented
(and unprovable in court) proof of being one of many
great-great-great-great-grandchildren to the man who started the
Kraft Foods empire. (It's true!)
|
#9.
|
Forty-something |
Twenty-five |
#8.
|
Financially
Independent through business ownership
(A fairly safe assumption) |
Financially
Independent through business ownership (and
helping others to become financially independent) |
#7.
|
"Played
a leading role in the development, construction and opening of
Gillette Stadium, the home of the Revolution and New England
Patriots and one of the world's premier sports and entertainment
facilities." |
Played
a leading role in "Into the Woods" (a Steven Sondheim musical), uses
a Gillette Mach 3 razor, and enjoys eating clam chowder from New
England, one of the world's premier regions for production of clam
chowder. |
|
#6 |
His success in operating the
Revolution, the New England Patriots and Gillette Stadium, as well
as his influence on the sports business landscape, earned Kraft and
his father, Robert, the 2002 Sports Industrialists of the Year
Award, presented annually by The Sports Business Daily. |
His success in creating
unparalleled form, grace, and poise, in an otherwise challenging
sports environment, as well as his uncanny ability to aim for the
sides of the lane instead of aiming for the pins, once earned him a
jar of pickles. (It was the prize for bowling the most
gutter-balls at a birthday party he went to in 1987!) Kraft's
father was proud! |
#5 |
Has
three brothers |
Has
two brothers and a sister |
#4
|
Jonathan
and his wife, Patti, live in Boston, Mass. with their three
children. |
Jonathan
and his plants, Avery the Avocado, Francine the Ficus, and "Cactus
and the Peppers," live in Greeley, Colorado. The plants were
named by his beautiful girlfriend! |
|
#3 |
Kraft
has welcomed, among others, Aerosmith, Elton John, Billy Joel and
The Rolling Stones, who opened their latest tour at Gillette Stadium
in September 2002.
|
While
listening to the music of Metallica, (sometime in 2002,) Kraft used
his Mach 3 razor to accidentally gouge wounds into his face that
felt like they were the size of Gillette stadium. |
|
#2 |
His
"extensive background in sports management and his business acumen
have greatly enhanced the growth of Major League Soccer." |
His
extensive background in putting out kitchen fires after neglecting
the food has greatly enhanced the local fire department, by
bolstering their case in their quest for more funding.
|
|
... AND FINALLY, THE #1 REASON THAT PROVES I AM THE REAL JONATHAN
KRAFT |
| #1 |
Kraft has helped secure the
appearances of major musical acts at Foxboro Stadium and Gillette
Stadium.
|
Kraft has secured shower tiles in
his bathroom following major musical performances showcasing his
stupendous singing! |
SO, THERE YOU HAVE IT!
|
Conclusive
proof that 
<--- THIS IS THE OTHER
JONATHAN KRAFT
THIS IS THE REAL JONATHAN
KRAFT ---> |
Still not convinced? Hmmm... to
be honest, neither am I. AND
I am THE REAL
JONATHAN KRAFT!!!
Well, I guess it's up to you to decide.
Although I suppose
Mike Schuster,
Super-fan extraordinaire, might be able to arrange a meeting for us and
we could get this whole thing straightened out?!?
If you want to see
what my site looked like before this whole melee started,
click here.
It will take you to the normal index page for my site.
Also, if you're
interested in working from home, I can teach you how to make a significant
income while working from home. I used to be a high school German
and theater teacher, but I learned from Jim Rohn and Robert Kiyosaki that
profits are better than wages.
So
working from home is all I do,
and if you're interested, I can share. Click here for more
information if you are interested an ethical business, an outstanding
product, and an awesome way of making money from home. |