January 1994
(Jonathan is 14)
Dear God,
What is going on? There's something inside of me and I feel like I just keep packing it down. What do I have to do to let it out?
In the past, columns have satisfied this thing for a while. I can tell that it will be wonderful once it's out. But how I started is the question.
I envision this little bubble of light inside of me that grows whenever I do something for you. Several times, it almost came out, but it was especially at these times, when outside sources tempted me. Once I agree and give in to that temptation, it's like a giant fist comes crunching down my throat and returns that light to its normal size. The time for it to come out is now? But I've got to make it grow enough? And be able to resist temptation when it happens.
So, God, your turn, again. Help me to make this light grow. It is going to take three to four months, and I know that. Help me to do things that you would want me to do.
Holy Spirit, help me to recognize what the temptation(s) are, and when they are coming.
Jesus, help me to work through the Temptations. Show me the way to the Bible when I start to get into these temptations, and give me messages through the Bible that will help me to not give in.
Mary, help me to do my best to understand other people and what they do. Sometimes it gets very confusing, and I feel you have the love and understanding to translate why people do the things that they do.
Help me through the next few months.
Show me how to let the slight emerge from me.
Help me to stay away from temptation, and to recognize it when it's trying to get at me.